a loyal friend

"A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."
-unknown

"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."
- Valerie Lombardo


All these years I thought that to be a good, loyal friend I have to be the best I can be to a friend. When ever God puts someone into my life, I always find myself jumping in feet first not caring of the consequences. "Investing" in the relationship as if it's my number one priority, doing what ever I can to make sure that person is happy.

Many memories created in the process of becoming closer friends. Years of gaining each others' trust. But, it's funny how one thing can change all those years of experiences. How one thing can make me doubt and lose my trust in the person.

Despite all of the pain and resentment I feel it's meaningless. It's useless if I don't know how to handle it correctly. All these years I feel like I've been working really hard on getting rid of "myself", learning how to be selfless. But, I've failed miserably this past weekend.

I wish that I wasn't me. I wish that I could take everything back and just keep it to myself. I wish that this wouldn't hurt so much.

No matter how many times I am hurt by them I have to endure it and make sure that I am there when needed.