uh oh...

it always breaks my heart to see Enzo sick. To see him uncomfortable, and weak...

i'm worried about Enzo...he has been running a temperature since last night. all day today he's been walking around slowly, and not really showing much interest in eating or playing. so sad! he would just walk around, stop and look at his toys, then walk away or come over to sit with me. he NEVER chooses to 'sit with me', he thinks that he's too old to sit with his mommy. hopefully tomorrow he will be much better.

i started on my 'beta blockers' today. the first dose was baaaaaaad. basically, beta blockers are usually prescribed to patients who have high blood pressure and ppl who have had a heart attack to "improve survival". well, a couple minutes after i took it, i felt dizzy, lightheaded, weak, head was pounding, and i didn't have the energy to breath. breathing was really hard, i literally felt like i had to force myself and concentrate on breathing. yikes!

as i was trying to rest, Enzo woke up crying (probably from discomfort). realizing, i had no one around to help me i had to use every bit of strength in me to go downstairs to grab Enzo's meds, come up and hold him. at the time i really didn't have anymore strength in me and just hoped that he would fall asleep beside me. we both knocked out for about 40 mins and he woke up. poor little guy couldn't go back to sleep, he ended up just getting out of bed and playing on his own. i couldn't get up...all i remember was him standing at my bedside and trying to pull me up, poked me a few times, slapped my hand a few more times and resorted to playing with my hair...at which case caused me to fall into deep sleep. what he did after that, was totally between him and God.

right now Enzo is sound asleep...still feeling really warm...


Father,
You have blessed me with Enzo. he's wonderful! he's perfect in his own little way. right now he is sick. i really hate to see him suffer. to see him hurting. Father, please send your comfort to him. Father, please heal his little body and make him strong again. You know the pain of having to watch Your Child at a weak state. Please give me the patience and endurance to watch and care over him. Give A the rest that he may need to go to work and come home to tend to his wife and child's sickness. Help us as a family to encourage and love each other. Father, thank You for Your healing and blessings upon this family. You are our Lord and Our strength.

Love,
Julie